Gabriel's Vessel
by madelinesticks
Summary: Sam asks a question that takes his partner by surprise.


Gabriel stopped short at the question. It wasn't the face he made when he didn't want to answer a question, nor the one he made when he was considering whether to lie.  
Sam had been thinking after Castiel had spent some time talking about Jimmy and he'd been overcome with curiosity, and Sam had asked - "How did you get your Vessel to say yes?"  
Gabriel's head had tilted to the side and he seemed thoughtful for a few moments. After a long, silent pause, he said, "My Vessel was not a holy man. Not like Jimmy."  
Sam watched as Gabriel set his mug down, leaning against Bobby's kitchen counter and letting a hand stroke absently over his own chin. Sam bit his lip to worry the skin a little, worried he'd brought up an uncomfortable subject.  
"You gotta understand, Sammy, everyone was religious. Everyone was Christian. And he just wasn't, stayed away from the main towns and stayed alone. Had a wife and kids, once, stopped believing when-"  
Gabriel broke off, swallowing hard. Sam could see the bob of his Adam's apple.  
It was rare that he'd display emotion like this, even in front of Sam.  
"There were wars, wars in the name of my Father and his family were killed. When I first spoke to him he didn't want to listen - it was my fault, my Father's fault, they were dead after all, so why should he help me?" Gabriel gave a bitter little laugh.  
"I was angry at first. Lucifer and Michael weren't quite at the stage of fighting yet, but they were getting closer. I was stressed and I needed a Vessel to do as I was told, to appear to people, to spread my messages." Gabriel took in a slow breath. "I appeared every other day to try and convince him he should serve God loyally, that he would see his family again in Heaven when he died - I said so many things. I never lied, never, but I got desperate after a time. I got crueler."  
Sam leaned forwards, watching. The other carefully as he tightened his hands into small fists.  
"Then there was another war. They came to him and demanded to take up a sword. On that night, after they'd gone he drank a lot. Then he let me in." Gabriel moved forwards, settling at the table next to Sam.  
"I felt victory at the time. I felt so- so damn important. Like I'd won some difficult battle and I deserved praise." It was for a few weeks, to start with. And then I went back to Heaven and let him be."  
"I felt some superiority or something, and I didn't- I didn't want to be among humans for a while. I should have felt guilty, because I just used the guy, but I still had that angelic stick up my ass about you idiots."  
"The next time I needed him, I just appeared with no warning. He was bleeding, on the floor with a hole through his chest and he was DYING, Sam. You could say I appeared in the nick of time." Gabriel grinned, but it was a nasty grin, the one he made when he was teaching some human a painful lesson.  
"You should have seen their faces, Sammy, when I stood up and just pulled this spear out of his ribs as if it was a splinter, with all the wounds healing up."  
"That was the start of it. I ran away right then, you know, I didn't want them to find him for deserting. I don't- I don't even know where, it was just somewhere a way away. And I met another Trickster. Anansi."  
Sam tilted his head slightly. Bobby had talked about Anansi before - not, generally, with anything resembling a positive tone. "He knew what I was. I hadn't learned to hide it yet, and he laughed at me. Asked what a little angel was doing so far from home."  
"I didn't make the decision to just leave Heaven and jump from the clouds, Sammy. It was in this. I just- I did my last job and then I never went home. I wad talking to Anansi, and all I could think of was my brothers fighting, and having to join in."  
Gabriel went quiet once again. "I never went back. I stayed with Anansi for a time - I was angry and bitter and I didn't understand anything, and he liked how easily I bit at him. I got cheekier, over time, more like him. And things went on, and I ended up stumbling into the role of Loki. He - my Vessel - was comforted at the fact that I'd lost my family too, in my way. I'm sure. Because he was a good man, just bitter."  
"What was his name?" Gabriel laughed. This one seemed almost joyful.  
"Samael. Sam, his name was Sam." Sam smiled too, but his smile was much sadder. Did he remind Gabriel of him?  
"It's okay, Sam. He was a good man, and I think his death was a mercy to him. He just faded away, and I think he went to Heaven."  
Gabriel leaned forwards, grabbing Sam by the shoulder and pulling him forwards, pressing a quick, chaste kiss to his lips before drawing away slightly, keeping their foreheads pressed together. "I love you." He said softly.  
"I love you too." Sam murmured back, grasping for one of Gabriel's hands and holding it tightly in his own. "You miss it, don't you? Heaven?"  
"Not nearly enough to leave you." Sam couldn't help but smile a little at that.  
"Okay." He said, still grinning. If he looked up, he knew Gabriel would be smiling too.


End file.
